The Ironhide Mystery
by Miss Autobot
Summary: Movieverse. Ironhide vanishes after a surprise Decepticon attack, leaving his fellow Autobots extremely confused. What the Autobots don't know is that Ironhide's body ended up in a garage in his GMC Topkick form and his spark is in the resident's mind.


_Okay, so I have finally been able to sit down and start this story, because (-cue gasps-) I have contracted the H1N1, or better known as the SWINE FLU! (-horror music-) And before you ask, no, I haven't spontaneously grown a pig snout or tail. And no, you canNOT get the H1N1 from pigs. I don't even know why the hell they call it the swine flu. What's next; the zebra flu? The dolphin flu? Heck, the t-rex flu? So, I've been cooped up in my house for the passed week and decided that watching fifteen movies and all the seasons of Smallville is overrated and this story needs to begin. Now presenting… the first chapter!! :)_

_The 'Cons are in this chapter, so don't give up and keep reading!! :P_

_And yes, before you get your panties in a bunch, I have seen G1, but I do not claim to be an expert, so if I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. _

_FYI, I don't expect to put such long author's notes at the beginning of my story, but since this is the first chapter I thought, _Hey! Why the hell not! _So now, read on trans-fans!_

**Disclaimer for entire story: I do not and will never own the rights to Transformers or the live-action movies; those belong to Hasbro and Michael Bay. No money is being made by this fanfiction and it is purely made for enjoyment and entertainment. :)**

The Ironhide Mystery

**Chapter One: And So It Begins…**

_A few months after Mission City:_

It was unusual for a war mech to sit quietly for too long, especially Ironhide, but with the Decepticon activity almost nonexistent and the human government advising the Autobots to hide their residence on earth, what else could a warbot do? – Besides polish his cannons and shoot at easy targets. Ironhide was bored with the base already, he wanted action; hopefully some random Decepticon – Barricade was Ironhide's choice punk-aft 'Con – would wonder onto the base and the weapon specialist could blast his aft to the eighteenth galaxy and back. At least it was better then having a check up with Ratchet.

Ironhide sat cursing quietly, air rushing out of this vents, on a large, metal bench made especially to accommodate the Autobot's numerous sizes and different weights. Flicking a side hatch on his left arm cannon open, he tugged on some of the wires and pressed the gage button, checking to see if his upgrades were still in working condition. Ironhide closed the hatch and powered up his cannon, nodding as it made a loud whirling sound, pure power radiating off the massive weapon. Satisfied with his weapon's condition, he let his arm fall back to his side.

Once again, Ironhide was bored. He could only scan his weapons so much before he got tired of seeing his cannons in working condition. Sometimes he would hope his cannon would malfunctions, at least _that_ was something to do.

Ironhide would usually be with his charges, the Lennoxs, but since Will, Sarah, and baby Annabelle left on a train to the beach for a "much needed vacation," Ironhide was off duty. The war-mech didn't see the benefit of visiting the "in-laws," as Will had stated earlier. Ironhide insisted that he meet the Lennoxs at the "in-laws" house but Will wouldn't have it, claiming that everything would be okay and Ironhide needed a "vacation" also. Will didn't understand that Ironhide _didn't_ take vacations.

Swearing in his native tongue, Ironhide grabbed the large television remote and turned on the massive plasma TV that covered the entire wall across from Ironhide's bench. A reporter on Fox News appeared on the screen.

"-esident Obama's Health Care Plan-"

Ironhide changed the channel.

"-economy is looking brighter, says a New York stock investor, but it still seems that California is still below the nation average. The Governator has some work to do; it seems that Statewide Garage Sale wasn't the key to their extremely large deficit proble-"

Ironhide flipped through a few more channels until he came across the History Channel's special of World War II.

"Finally something worth watching," Ironhide grumbled, tossing the remote down. "Slagging humans and their political problems."

Settling down in his seat, Ironhide's watched the screen as the narrator describe an old type of gun used in the war. At once the lights began to flicker and a large explosion echoed through the base. Within seconds, the power was off.

"What the _frag!_" Ironhide exclaimed, jumping to his feet. Red emergency lights lit up the rec room, but with such little light, Ironhide turned on his infrared scanners and powered up his cannons. Rushing out of the rec room, Ironhide ran down the large hall in the direction of the explosion. The newest earth-bound arrivals, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, appeared on either side of the weapons specialist.

"What did you blow up this time, 'Hide?" Sideswipe asked Ironhide, laughter audible in his vocal processors.

"I wouldn't be running _towards_ the explosion if I created it!" Ironhide glared back, optics flashing angrily.

"Of course not, 'Hide, you'd be running from it!" Sunstreaker added, ducking as Ironhide made to smack him in the faceplates. The yellow twin laughed wholesparkily.

Rounding a corner dangerously fast, the three Autobots entered the messy laboratory of another new arrival – Wheeljack.

"You glitch head!" Ratchet voice echoed around the room like the previous explosion. "What were you thinking? Did your logic circuits malfunction or something? You can't mix those to earth elements, especially in such a large quantity!"

The side of his head lit up when he spoke, "Oh, come on Ratch, I was only experimenting with the new materials."

"New materials or not, be careful with what you mix. Look at that dent on your chestplates."

Wheeljack patted his chest, smearing the black soot on his armor. "Ratch, its only a little dent. Nothing to blow a fuse over."

Ratchet scoffed, blowing extremely hot air out of his vents. "Little? _Little?! _I have to hammer that dent out now. More work then necessary!"

Wheeljack stood up from his seat on the floor. The whole room was covered in black soot and littered with shards of glass, melted plastic, remnants of metal, and burnt paper, save for the spot Wheeljack was blown back on. Ratchet stomped over and grabbed Wheeljack by the forearm, dragging the poor scientist to his medbay, leaving a trail of black ash as the CMO pushed passed the weapon specialist and the twins.

"Holy Pit. Wheeljack did a number on his lab this time," Sides commented, kicking a small piece of metal.

"The messes that malfunctioning 'Bot creates," Sunny added, tossing a shard of glass across the room.

Ironhide grunted and turned to leave the lab. "You two better clean up this mess before Prime sees it and has your afts thrown in the containment chamber."

Sideswipe gasped, or what sounded like a metallic version of the human function. "He wouldn't!" Sunstreaker made a soft whimpering hum.

Ironhide scoffed and turned his back to the twins. The weapon's specialist left the lab, ignoring the calls of refusal from the Autobot twins. The veteran 'Bot turned sharply to glare at the younger ones, causing the twins to jump back a few feet from 'Hide's intense stare.

"Fine. Fine. We'll clean it! Just don't get your pistons in a bunch, ya old timer," Sunny said, holding his hands up defensively.

Ironhide let out a loud rumble from deep inside his chest and raised on arm quickly, allowing his cannon to hiss menacingly at Sunny. "Call me that again, you son of a glitch."

"You. Old. Timer," Sunny said loudly, sounding out each word.

Ironhide's powerful plasma blast shot passed Sunny's head, crashing into the wall behind them, causing more debris and rubble to collect within the lab.

"Have fun."

The older 'Bot turned and stormed off towards the rec room, hoping to get away from _those_ twins. To actually think that those two are an asset to the Autobot team. With a low _thump_, Ironhide, once again, situated himself on the large metal bench.

He wasn't normally this irritable; he wasn't the calmest of the Autobots, but he rarely threatened a fellow 'Bot – even with Sunny and Sides around. He just couldn't take the quiet. With Decepticons, like Starscream, still running – er, flying – around, Old 'Hide couldn't sit still knowing there was a battle looming in the near future. Also, the mood around the base has been very gloomy as Ratchet continued to work on Jazz, trying to keep that small flicker of his spark online. Even after being torn in half by that pit-spawn 'Con Megatron, Jazz clung on to life with a small spark signal. Prime declared Jazz to offline, but once after all the mess was over and everybot was taken to Ratchet's medbay for a scan, the CMO discovered the persistent – almost nonexistent – spark in his halved body. Ratchet informed Prime and set into motion a long and extensive procedure to reconnect the two halves of their Autobot Lieutenant. Now, Old Hatchet rarely left his medbay and continued to fix the Solstice.

From a distance, 'Hide could hear the low rumble of a motor approaching. The war-mech registered the familiar hum of the engine and sat quietly, staring at a blank television screen.

The horn blazed as the yellow Camaro roared through the automatic giant garage doors and slid to a stop feet from Ironhide's place on the bench. Two humans stepped out of the scout; seconds after the Camaro quickly transformed to the youngest Autobot Bumblebee.

Ironhide jerked his cranial unit up swiftly as a very human and masculine form of greeting. The male organic, Samuel, copied the mech, but added a small wave toward him.

"Hey Ironhide," Mikaela, the female organic, greeted patting his foot lightly. Between the two organics, Ironhide was able to concur that the females of the human species relied more on physical contact and emotions, while the males fought for dominance, by showing strength and sometimes wit, among the primitive race of sentiment beings. Although Sarah Lennox sure knew how to keep her bonded in order, especially when he "leaves the toilet seat up". Humans were fascinating, yet extremely confusing.

"Hello Mikaela," he replied, optics watching the human femme.

"You seem…" she paused for a moment, glancing at the blank television, "…very entertained."

Ironhide blew air out of his ventilating system, equivalent to a human sigh. "One of 'Jack outlandish experiments exploded and blew out the electricity. I'm sure one of the other mechs will correct the error soon, I am no good with such things."

Sam snorted. "That's why they keep you weapons specialist and not maintenance crew."

"Yes, I would think so," Ironhide responded, glaring at Samuel. He didn't like being compared to a lowly 'maintenance crew'. He was the best weapon specialist in the Autobot ranks.

The male human chuckled nervously and let out a high-pitched squeak as Bumblebee picked him up, allowing the human to sit on his right shoulder unit.

"Oh hell, 'Bee, warn me when you have the urge to pick me up," Sam said, patting the mech on the shoulder. "I feel like a friggin' doll."

Bumblebee let a low humming laugh. "_Your wish is my command._"

The war-mech rolled his optics as the young-bot set his hand down and allowed the female to collect herself in his hand. Slowly and delicately, Bumblebee held Mikaela at chestplate height. Mikaela lounged gently on the bright yellow mech's finger.

"_All quiet on the Western Front?_"

The war-bot raised a metal eyebrow. "No Decepticon activity," he grunted. "I am beginning to think old Screamer has something up his exhaust pipe. That _fraggin'_ 'Con's always up to something."

"Has there been any new Decepticon arrivals?" Sam asked, leaning forward, but nearly losing his balance until Bumblebee used a metal finger to steady the boy.

"Maybe; Prime thinks that Soundwave has joined Starscream's little fraction of 'Cons. Primus only knows what Soundwave is going to do, especially was those pit-bound minibots."

'Bee nodded vigorously and raised his whirling arm cannon defensively. Sam yelped as the base shook from another explosion. After a few nanoseconds, Ratchet's voice echoed throughout the whole base.

"WHEELJACK!"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I SWEAR TO PRIMUS!"

"Wha-"

The ceiling about the rec room caved in from another blast and a cackling robotic laugh was heard from overhead.

"Starscream!" Ironhide yelled, powering up his plasma cannon. Bumblebee cradled both his humans in his hands and dove for the nearest safe place to set them down to hide.

"Seems we have found the Autobot base of operations," Starscream said, cackling again as he shot a blast Bumblebee's way. Luckily Bumblebee saw the shot and dodged expertly with his humans. Ironhide growled and engaged Starscream in a battle. As Starscream jumped down from the ceiling, he transformed into his F-22 alt mode in midair and rammed Ironhide, sending the Autobot flying back into a metal wall. Ironhide heard voices of his comrades, but didn't pay any mind. Starscream was his.

Starscream jumped back as Ratchet blasted a shot at the Decepticon, coming to the war-mech's aid.

Starscream yelled out to his fraction. "Soundwave! Barricade!"

From the top of the ceiling, the Autobots could see the large 'Con. "Ravage, eject. Lazarbeak, eject." Two minibots ejected from Soundwave and transformed into their true forms. Lazarbeak flew above their heads, shooting rapidly, while Ravage attacked the nearest Autobot, which happened to be Wheeljack. Barricade jumped down and landed next to Ratchet. Ratchet sent an electromagnetic shot at him, but Barricade dodged the attack, grabbing the CMO, forcing him to the ground with a loud crash of metal on metal.

"_**Prime!**_" Ironhide called through the comm. link, as he shot a few rounds at Soundwave.

"_**Ironhide, what's wron**_-"

"_**Decepticons. Attacking.**_"

Ironhide heard a low, angry growl through the link. "_**I am on my way.**_" The link was cut off. Prime was pissed.

_Great time to be on patrol, Prime,_ Ironhide thought acidly. "_**Sunny help 'Jack. Sides get Lazarbeak.**_"

"_**Roger,**_" they both replied, running towards their intended battles. When it came to battle strategy all mech's listened to either him or Prime. He was a war-mech after all.

Ironhide felt the pain through his armor as Starscream's missile made contact with his left chestplate, throwing the mech off balance. Ironhide swore loudly in Cybertronian and retaliated by sending a high power energon blast straight at Starscream's cranial unit. The self-proclaimed Decepticon leader ducked and called out to Soundwave.

"Get it ready! Prime's bound to show!"

Ironhide wasn't going to let old Screamer get to his leader, whatever that pit-spawn 'Con was going to use. He adjusted the internal settings of his energon cannon to maximum and unleashed an insanely powerful blast. As he anticipated, Starscream wasn't expecting a shot with such a magnitude and dodged too late, allowing the energon blast to hit his left wing. Starscream's scream of pain reverberated around the damaged rec room as his wing exploded into a dazzling show of flames and sparks. Starscream drew back a few steps behind Soundwave.

"Change of plans, Soundwave. Get the Old Scrap Heap!"

Before Ironhide could process what was happening, a bright red light hit him right over his spark casing and his entire system offlined.


End file.
